I am writing even though at this point I really don't feel like it and don't have much to talk about.  It is my typical Wednesday.  I wish I would snap out of this funk that I am in, this depressive episode that is been hanging over me for the past few weeks.   Like I mentioned in my last entry, there was a time when I was able to work 2 jobs or go to school and work.  I used to be a part of the Anthropology Association, GLASA, and study.  I used to volunteer for the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center and teach PSR.  I used to do writing workshops, and hang with friends. I did readings and passed out communion at church. Things have changed.  Most of my relationships I have destroyed. It's a chore to do the activities I do now: Weight Watchers,NAMI  group, and exercise.  Bible Study is a chore.  I fear what will happen when I start work.  I wish I could tell my mom why it seems I am "farting around."  Things aren't as they seem.  I "fart around" because I don't feel good.