I really need to snap out of this funk that I am in.  Since June, when working for United Cerebral Palsy, I have been in this depression and anxiety funk.  I think part of it has to do with not being happy with my life.  It also seems I say this often, too:  I don't think I processed as much as I liked with Mark moving on.  This year it will be two years.  Deep down inside it's being lonely, it's my past, it's not being where I'd like to be in life, and it's (in general) being a lousy person towards others and myself.....I'm a bad person who needs to work on her "sins"  because I'm on my way to hell. 

Something has got to change.  Writing about these things is not going to make things any better.  I have to act...not only write about these things.  I have to physically start working on things....not just take my medicines, but diet and exercise have to change.  I know that.   I'm tired a lot of the time and can't get moving. I just started working on my spirituality with Father Kevin and I have been going to Bible Study on Tuesdays and Saturday mornings.  Than there is counseling to help the other aspects of my life.  I have been trying to work with Maureen, a social worker, who is my case manager/counselor.  There is also my psychiatrist who helps me when it comes to part of the physical aspect.  The rest of the physical aspect has to do with diet, exercise, and getting sunlight.