It's been a couple of weeks since I wrote...a few things went on.  I have been on a dating website called Plenty of Fish and been searching for companionship....so far we have one prospective guy in his 50's named Tony.  The rest of them think I have cooties because of my weight, have been idiots, or have been seeking sex. 

Yesterday, I called the place where I receive counseling services and said I wanted to hurt myself.  Three police cars met me up at the place where I work to chat with me to make sure that I was ok.  (I had gotten to work a bit early and was in the parking lot.)  I had one of two choices:  go to the hospital or have them call my mom to verify I was able to work...well I didn't really want to go to the hospital.  It's a lot of things really.  It's loneliness, it's not making enough money, it's my mom on my case,  and I miss school, especially Cleveland State University.  I miss Mark, Jerry, and Jeffrey. 

Tracy